What's in a name?

The story behind Mind and Matter

 

I chose the name 'Mind & Matter' because I believe it helps describe my healing journey, and what I personally believe the whole "health" thing is all about. I'm sure you've all been told at one point in your life that "it's just mind over matter", or "you can get through anything if you just work hard enough and stay positive". Well, let me tell you, that is the last thing you want to hear when you're in a bad place, and honestly it's not even true. It's not just about your developing strength of mind to overcome physical obstacles. Its not just about the mind or the matter. Its both. And both parts need to be addressed if we're going to heal. 

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When I first got sick, I really believed that my symptoms and my illness were a result of my surrounding environment. I thought that I had bad genes, or that i'd been exposed to some sort of toxic chemical, or that i'd taken too many antibiotics, or caught the wrong bug, or some other external factor had triggered this illness. And I wasn't totally wrong. I got bit by a tick and didn't know it, so I got lyme disease. And I had some bad genes that got triggered from stress, so I got celiac disease. These external factors made me sick. (AKA: the "matter). So, like any sick person, I went to the doctor, and I took medicine and changed my diet to help fix these things. Only, I didn't really get better. In fact, I got quite a lot worse.

As my sickness progressed and I got increasingly frustrated with the medical community, I started diving into alternative perspectives on health.  And, while I learned some invaluable lessons from this literature,one of the negative side effects that I picked up from it stemmed from the overwhelming amount of messages I received that essentially told me my health issues were a result of my internal belief systems, my resentment, my anger, my negativity, etc. Many prominent energy healers and eastern medicine gurus told me that

my 'energetic imbalances' and my 'negative thoughts' were the root cause of my disease,

and that this sickness wasn't happening to me, but rather because of

me (aka: the 'Mind' part of the equation.) So, like any frustrated sick person, I did my very best to rid myself of these negative energies. I tried meditation, yoga, journalling, counselling, reiki, etc. The list goes on FOREVER. You name it, I tried it. And yet, just like before, I wasn't really getting better. I was fighting so hard to rid myself of all of these negative thought patterns, but I was completely neglecting the other side of the equation - the very real, and very intense, disease in my body. I was slowly figuring out that, despite what i'd been told, I couldn't "will" myself back to health on my own. Spirituality and self-love wasn't enough. 

Somewhere in this healing journey, i'd have to learn to merge the two treatment plans.

But did that make me a bad sick person? Was I allowed to pick and choose parts of eastern and western medicine as I saw fit? Could I take what I wanted and leave the rest?

 

Well, it turns out, I can. But at the time, no one had ever really talked

to me about this, and I carried around a lot of guilt, and felt like a pretty giant fraud, as

I tried to navigate these two opposing perspectives on health. My doctor hated my naturopath, and my naturopath consistently contradicted my doctor. I felt incredibly confused, and increasingly frustrated, and I grew sicker and sicker. 

But (thankfully) through a LOT of trial and error, and some pretty massive melt downs, I was able to find a healing path between the two for me to walk on. 

Throughout the journey, i've learned that it is just as much about your external environment as it is about your internal environment. We can't magically heal just by thinking happy thoughts and letting go of our inner self critic.

We also can't heal just by taking aggressive medications and eating nothing but kale and turmeric for the rest of our lives. There's room for each of us, sick or healthy, to heal aspects in both of these realms, and they're BOTH an equally important part of the healing journey.

We can't have one without the other, and once I started embracing this, I felt a

massive shift beginning in my health. I started healing. And if there's anything

you get from this blog, I hope that its the belief that you can start healing, too. 

 

Welcome to my story, and a little piece of my soul. I hope you find something here for you.

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All love,

Nicole